This post is pissy. Warning. So I officially ended things with Chase today. If you want more info the ins and outs of dumping your big bank, look here, to the formidable Bill Maher's "break-up with your big bank" manifesto. I tried breaking up on Monday, but had some pending business, so was told to return. Which means I had to go through the effort of explaining why I'm leaving twice, to two different 20-something male dufus's (yes, I now have free reign to use "20-something" as a pejorative adjective) and then listen politely to their half-hearted objections and try to politely refute each one.
"Do you know how a credit union works? You know, they're really not convenient." Okay, fine, nice try, I get it, it's your job to at least put forth a bit of resistance. But then out of nowhere: "We have ATMs all over the country. I travel a lot, so it's nice to have ATMs all over the place. But some customers don't really leave their hometown, like Pasadena or Altadena, so a local bank works out for them."
Wow, thanks for the dig, you cock face. You're basically calling me a yokel for switching to a credit union. F*ck off. F*ck Chase, AND f*ck your ugly face!!!! But, being the polite and responsible citizen that I am, I didn't say any of those things. Instead, I politely replied (with a smile) that my credit union partners with 7-Elevens and that we can use those ATMs for free, and shucks, aren't those convenient!! [smile, nod, smile, nod] On both instances, the Chase dudes would say something to counter each response I made, but everything maintained a superficial politeness and professionalism in the way it was delivered, and I started feeling like we were both trying out for that passive-aggressive character that Kristen Wiig does on Saturday Night Live.
Why is it that I hate canceling, ending, terminating services so much? What is it? Why do I loathe that interaction? Do I feel like I'm letting this person down? What do I owe him or his spiked hair? For someone like me, who has a hard time saying "no," (which has gotten me into considerably less trouble than you'd think), those hail mary attempts to change my mind and force me to say "no" more than once are excruciating! Canceling DirectTV service took more effort than a spin class. That dude made me reject him at least three times.
And I also wonder why it is that 9 times out of 10, I still don't call people on their bullshit when they offend me during such transactions. Or ever, really. I guess I don't want to sit there with both of us super uncomfortable until the transaction is over, but if he's made me uncomfortable already with the offensive comment, why do I feel the need to gracefully duck out of it and save him face? It's like making it through a bad date while you know you're never going to take another call from him. Why not just say what I'm thinking?
I've noticed it's a bit easier as I've gotten older. I won't let randos engage me in those "Do you have a minute to save the environment?" conversations on the street anymore. I just say "no." But I'd be lying if I said that there wasn't a sharp wave of discomfort that hit me every time I'm solicited and have to decline. I don't even like telling the cashier at CVS that I don't have a rewards card. LAME!!!! I think this is the only reason why India rubbed me the wrong way- the people there force you time and time again to say no. No no no no nonononononono. It leaves you feeling shitty. Like their infrastructure. Yeah, you asshole at Chase, I've been to India. So you can take your comment about yokel local credit unions and shove it.